Oh Shit Are The Knicks Good? 01/30/24
Plus Gambling/A Scathing Restaurant Review/A Stand Up Clip
The New York Knickerbocker’s are on a 7 Game Win Streak.
As of this typing the New York Knicks have just whomped Charlotte Hornets 113 - 92 for their 7th Straight win, putting them in a tie with the Philadelphia 76ers for 3rd place in the Eastern Conference.
And let me tell you something: The guys that sit outside my local bodega all day could not be more pumped about this.
The Knicks don’t get enough credit for having a ridiculous fanbase. Every time you watch a game they really only highlight the celebrity row with Spike Lee but if you get up to the Mezzanine you can witness a beautiful choir of Goomba’s, degenerates and men that refuse to admit that they are bald.
These are the men that use terms like “bada bing” and “fuhgedabout it” thinking they are being ironic but don’t what irony is. Yes this cast of characters of the Knicks faithful are deluding themselves yet again that this is the year.
This is not the year.
The Knicks are genuinely very good basketball team right now. They play great defense, OG Anunoby is probably the greatest trade the Knicks have made in this millennium. Jalen Brunson is an absolute stud, his signing being the only big free agent signing to not immediately backfire this century. Julius Randle got hurt which means we won’t have to see a stupid Julius Randle game for at least a month.
How can I heap so much praise after casting such doubt? Easy, The NBA is a star driven league. Never in the history of the Sport has a team won the Championship without a top 5 player. Never. Nada. Zilch. Don’t say the 2019 Raptors, Kawhi Leonard was easily a top 5 player that year.
Jalen Brunson is a stud and it awesome to see the city rally behind him. But he’s not Top 5. The fear now should be The Knicks doing the all in trade for someone like Donovan Mitchell because he’s “from New York” (the dumbest reason to think a player will be good somewhere). It sucks to say but the Knicks need to just stay the course, be content with maybe an Eastern Conference finals appearance and try to make it happen in the offseason for next year.
If not this fun run will just be another Linsanity or Melo 2012-13. Don’t get greedy. There’s a real chance to make this franchise a perpetual contender. We just have to be patient.
Stand Up Dates
Hopefully in the future this will be the largest segment of the blog but at the moment I just have two dates for you.
February 9th Grace Hall in Ossining, NY Ticket Link Below
February 15th Tommy Foxes Bergenfield, NJ Tickets N/A
Gambling Shenanigans
Well well well well well. Guess who went 4 for 5 this Championship weekend? This degenerate that’s who!
Chiefs/Ravens Under 45.5 - Hit
Lions/49ers Over 50.5 - Hit
Chiefs to Cover +3.5 - Hit
Lamar Jackson Under 67.5 Rushing Yards Hit
Amon Ra St Brown To Score a TD +140 - Didn’t hit because Dan Campbell eats glue.
Movies Recommendations
Heat Steaming on Netflix
Once Upon a Time in Hollywood Steaming on Hulu
The Intern on Max
Tetris on Apple TV+
Dirty Work on Amazon Prime
The Peckish Man
You ever make the mistake of being so hungry that you aren’t willing to wait the 30 minutes the restaurant you want to go to, so you instead go to the restaurant across the street and immediately understand why it’s empty?
That was me this past Friday at Porta 23 in my home neighborhood of Astoria.
As snarky as I am I genuinely don’t like being negative peoples work. But good criticism means being honest. And honestly I had a bad time at this restaurant.
Maybe it’s because I’m doing a dry January so I didn't have anything to drink but the first thing I noticed is how bland the layout is. Boring white walls, no art, no crown molding, nothing to add any character to this place.
Then you notice that there’s basically no one working here, we were sat by one of the co-owners and then waited on by the other. The two men were incredibly kind and clearly want only best for their restaurant but you can also get a sense of desperation from them.
The menu is also all over the place, I still don’t know what kind of food they specialize in. It’s a mixture of Spanish, Brazilian, Italian and American food and truly a master of none.
My girlfriend and I went with the Rotoli as an appetizer billed as “Shrimp & crab spring rolls, mango cilantro sauce”, which sounds yummy. We waited what seemed like far too long considering there was only 1 other table being served while we were dining in (which granted may have actually been a short amount of time that seemed long but I was really hungry). When the Rotoli finally arrived it was scorching hot, not in the ooh it just got deep fried hot, it was they just nuked it in the microwave for too long hot. When you take a bite you get no taste of the shrimp or the crab, just the hot over cooked roll. The Cilantro sauce was fine but unremarkable.
For our entree’s I ordered a classic Chicken Sandwich (Chicken breast, brioche, sriracha aioli, mozzarella, mushroom, onion, Yuka Fries on the side) and my girlfriend ordered the Porta 23 Burger (House burger blend, blue cheese, bacon, crispy onions on toasted brioche, fries.)
My chicken sandwich was again fine but unremarkable, the chicken was moist but the aioli was bland, and the fries were a little undercooked. My girlfriend asked for her burger to be cooked at medium and what she was closer rare. Her classic fries were terrible no salt even on them and the bacon was gummy. She did not even finish her burger.
We didn’t bother to look at the dessert menu.
I hate that my first food review on this blog is negative but also nothing gets people madder than their food not being what they wanted.
Porta 23 receives a 3.8 out of 10.
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